Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
