Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
