Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
