You're so nebulous sometimes
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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