You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
