He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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