I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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