when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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