I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
