I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
