I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
