We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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