At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
