I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
