i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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