Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
