If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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