He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
