people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
