Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
