census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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