I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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