I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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