please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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