i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
