Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
