Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This couple is walking their pig around campus
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
