We named our party play list daddy issues
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Drunk is not a location!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
