Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We are two peas in an std pod
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
