My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
