why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
