she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
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