the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
