Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
