Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
