I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
