i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
