I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
