Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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