Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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