U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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