Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
