I just threw up on my dentist
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Will exercising make me less horny?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
