do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
