yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
