He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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