I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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