so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
