The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
