thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
