before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
