There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
