Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
